Comfortable Being Uncomfortable ..

I first heard this term "Comfortable Being Uncomfortable", 4 years ago when I first joined this company and written it down on my office whiteboard. To me it was another of those nice sayings and did not give much thought to this and it just passed off my memory.

However, as part of a new Leadership series that am part of - when I again heard this term being repeated and elaborated upon, I was truly intrigued. Consider this, what does it take a seed to germinate. After soaking in water overnight, it needs to be pushed inside the tilled soil for the roots to grow and shoots to come out. It cannot just grow otherwise. Similarly, routines and habits make you feel at ease, in control and dull your sensitivities and creativity. Routines take less energy, require little effort and reduce creativity needed for problem solving. Sometimes, you just need those moments of chaos to shrug ourselves and wake up our brain from laziness. So, when challenge comes up - we are not running, hiding or disappearing but rather raising our hand and becoming visible to attack it head on.

Here are 5 uncomfortable things that will make you more successful and help you grow

#1. Learn how to take a compliment 

Growing up, we were always taught to be humble. We used to see our parents downplay anything  good we did, so that we do not feel proud and strive harder to be better. So, now in adulthood when someone compliments us, we tend to have a babbling response - not really knowing how to react. Sometimes we tend to be self-deprecating or have a complete blackout not knowing what is the right way to respond to someone who is appreciating our own. We lack the confidence to accept the compliment and hence this becomes an uncomfortable situation ! So, very true!

When someone is paying you a compliment, let them finish, take a break, smile and say, "Thank you. That's really good to hear." This statement came as a major breakthrough and worth noting the gains. When someone is complimenting you, they are sharing how your actions or behaviors impacted them and they are not asking if you agree. It also means that the work is worthy of recognition. It has achieved something significant that cannot go unnoticed. This also created a moment of gratitude and thankfulness that needs to be savored.

#2. Speak in public 

Glossophobia  - a strong fear of public speaking is one of the most dreaded and fearful things people have. Volunteering to present, goes beyond the comfort layers and causes tension, anxiety. 

This is something I realized early in my career and invested several years in Toastmasters to hone my public speaking skills. However, as it happens - it's a lifelong skill that needs to be continually practiced and mastered to win over the audience. Success in public speaking is to know the key points of the topic, understand that everyone in the audience would like you to succeed and fake it so that you look very comfortable on stage. Sometimes I felt a bubble of energy when am on stage which again may or may not work for you (given the setting and audience).

The benefits of public speaking are numerous - it helps builds confidence as an SME. Rapidly influences credibility - sharing perspectives, telling stories, showcasing work completed. It helps expand and grow your network - you will attract people who can relate to you and understand your perspectives. When you say something to a wider audience, it requires preparation, thoughtfulness, listening and assimilating skills. Communication skills not just on stage but also on social media and zoom is now a must have in this digital world to win over audience, influence and persuade someone. 

#3. Take critical feedback 

 Learning to hear and embrace criticism without turning back or becoming defensive can be one of the most fortifying achievements of your career. Most of the times, we have the impulse to protect oneself, get defensive or stop listening. However, here are some great tips on taking critical feedback - listen to it completely without interruption, write down what you hear, ask questions to make sure you are interpreting it right and learn not to challenge or disagree. 

Take the feedback to other situations in your career and then knowing and understanding your kryptonites (weakness) gives you immediate actionable behavior to work upon day by day and situation by situation. 

#4. Admit you don't understand something 

 This is pure gold - how many times have we sat in meetings when everyone seems to be understanding and nodding their head while I/you may have experienced NOT understanding anything about the subject. Chances are that we have not understood the problem and feel that people seem to know more. So, we end of telling ourselves that it's better to keep quiet, take notes, do research and hopefully one will be able to understand later. That later does not happen as we are inundated with higher priority tasks and deliverables that sometimes we fail to get back to this. It's really an uncomfortable situation to be in and that is where we need to feel comfortable asking questions like, "Help me understand, catch me up".  

It’s ok to admit you don’t know something and to ask for help.  In fact, it’s far MORE POWERFUL than being the smartest person in the room or on the on the call. Don't fake it until you make it. Get over yourself and ask the question.

If you take that big step to ask that question, you will feel more empowered to continue to probe and learn something new. You then become more relatable to others who may also be struggling to understand but unable to speak up. It could be a speaker issue, content issue, delivery issue but you end up building trust among others and speakers that you are willing to really make the best use of this time and gain something valuable.

#5. Get in over your head     

Of all the uncomfortable moments, getting in over your head is probably the ONE most worth pursuing

• It’s the scariest
• There is a stronger chance of failure
• It stretches you more than anything else you could do
• Taps into your deepest creativity moments

You got to raise your hand. When there's a project no one wants, step up. When there's a problem that has existed for years, create and plan and execute to fix it.

What do you gain: 

• Confidence, confidence, confidence
• Deeper understanding of how the organization works
• New relationships and stronger networks
• Empathy and compassion that you never knew were needed
• Strategy making skills
• Comfortability asking for help

 Key Takeaways:

1. It's not good, if you feel totally comfortable in your role
2. Force yourself to come out of cruise control mode
3. Desk calendar challenge - have a desk calendar and mark 3 days a week when you do something that is more challenging than normal. 3 uncomfortable to gradually escalating to 7 per week.
4. Be honest with yourself - look back each day and see if you raised the bar
5. Avoid the easy routes when there's an opportunity to shine     

This detailed session has been a complete breakthrough and clearly shifted my perspectives and limiting beliefs. Today I learnt the most important leadership lesson of all - leadership is not leading people or teams but rather being the best version of yourself and helping others who are in the same journey! 

Take a bow !