Mindfulness Journey ..

When the pandemic hit in 2020 and as fear gripped the world, mobility was lost, restrictions were put in place and people suddenly felt imprisioned in their own homes, suddenly something adversely affected them without them knowing about it.  That was the mental health and psychological well-being! I did not quite realize this till I got introduced to the topic of "Mindfulness" at workplace.

With everything going around in our external environment and news constantly hitting us on our social media profiles, we start becoming highly distracted and distanced from the present moment. Consider this - you are shopping out but back of your mind you're constantly thinking of something else and then you bump into someone !! That's when you realize that you were not present and attention was on something in the past or future. That when you are not being "mindful". Another example, while you're in a virtual meeting and after the initial conversation, you get a messenger message and start reading that and thinking how to respond. Then suddenly someone calls out your name and then you realize that you've not being paying attention but allowed the mind to wander. Studies have shown that 70% leaders report inability to be fully attentive in meetings and 47% of the time is spent mind-wandering. This is when the practice of mindfulness becomes an essential part of daily living. 

A more formal definition, "Mindfulness means paying attention to what's happening in the present moment in the mind, body and external environment, with an attitude of kindness and curiosity." In a podcast, Jay Shetty the spiritual guru said that when he was at monk school, he saw a 10 year old monk teaching bunch of 5 year old kids. When he asked that 10 year old monk on what he taught, he said that the first thing everyone learns at monk school is "how to breathe". He was curious and ask why and the wise 10 year responded that, "the only thing that stays with you from the moment you're born to the moment you die is your breath". Everything else in the external environment, relationships etc may change but your breath doesn't and so it's your greatest friend. What happens to us when we get stressed, our breath changes and we tend to breathe faster. Your rate of breath changes when you get angry or sad. So, every emotion is experienced through the change of breath. So, when you learn how to navigate or mange your breath, you can navigate any situation in your life. 

When you breathe deeply, you body relaxes. The vagus nerve which is the longest nerve in the body signals the body to rest and absorb. It enhances positive emotions and social connections and regulates pathways in the heart. "What is emotion?" - reactions we have to internal and external stimuli. Feeling is witnessing and allowing an emotion to move through your body.  "Mindfulness" helps one to become aware of the physical, emotional or mental pain of the moment. When you feel that pain, it leads to intensity of feelings like being petrified, fearful, panicked or enraged, betrayed, agonized or even disgraced, dishonoured, ashamed. So, when you start noticing the feelings and corresponding changes happening to your internal systems, you need to treat yourself with kindness, considering these are normal. When we show that self-compassion that such feelings and emotions are normal part of being human, you can then control the outward response to this stimuli by controlling your facial expressions, voice, non-verbal body reactions and mind through breath. You learn to embrace yourself with tenderness, with curiosity and non-judgmental awareness, which further helps regulate emotions and feelings. That is why Ramachandra Gandhi said, "Your breath is your best friend".   

Most of the times, our intense reactions come from the fact that is hard for us to accept the new changed reality. Acceptance is the first step through self-compassion, self-kindness and affectionate breathing. Chris Gerner mentions, "Allow yourself to be caressed by the gentle internal rocking motion of the breath in a way that is calming and soothing." Breathing in, say to yourself, "I will do my best" and breathing out, say to yourself, "I will let go of rest".  Imagine a friend who is going through some suffering, how would one speak to him/her. Shower yourself with that same love, kindness, compassion (and not being overly harsh - "am I not good enough?") and hug yourself. Sometimes, the pain or trauma is caused from a past hurt and it is necessary to hug that younger version of yourself and say nicely that you did the best, forgive yourself. Learn to protect your heart at all times. Embrace the tenderness of your soul and say to that external stimuli that they know not what they are doing. That self-love will soften the anger, the hatred, the jealousy and open passages of faith, positive energy, warmth, glow and grace. So, with mindfulness you then become more self-aware and know how best to react like you would do to your best friend, which is your "inner soul"!